Funny Office Quotes for Workers

These funny office quotes and  and sayings will give you a silent pleasure and by reading these scariest work quotes you may think about some funny co-workers and colloquies at your office.

Funny office quotes:

  1. If you enjoy your work at the workplace then you cannot enjoy a date.
  2. Don’t look at me; look at my work to judge about my personality.
  3. You don’t need any gas lighter or match box to get fired from your job.
  4. Hard work in the office is overrated; let’s do something soft from today.
  5. I made many mistakes in my life and my office job is one of them.
  6. Do not think about your talent and extraordinary qualities, it’s all your boss work.
  7. The only benefit is teamwork; I am not responsible for all faults.
  8. Tell fake motivational stories to yourself, it will help you to stick with your job for a long term.
  9. Boss is always right at work only, only Saturday and Sunday I can correct him.
  10. I wonder why even in teamwork we must follow instructions of one stupid boss.
  11. It’s my responsibility to forget my wife’s name during my job.
  12. I will quit all bad jobs once I got an office job.
  13. There are no promotions for gurus, doesn’t matter how intelligent you are.
  14. Regular on work may not save your relations with your girlfriend but it may save many future dates for you, because girls come after your money and a good job is a resource of money.
  15. Why you are looking for a permanent job at a temporary life?
  16. Hi darling. I’m busy in a meeting. There are 3 doors, 7 fans, 17 tube lights, 8 energy savers, 96 floor tiles, 35 chairs and 2 tables in this meeting room. That is all.
  17. I am tired of submitting my resume at online job sites, now I am going to launch my own online job search site.
  18. Seven out of ten employers plan to quit current job and join some other company but they got a retirement letter at the end.
  19. Honey, I can stay 3 minutes more on chat because I am using Facebook in my office toilet.
  20. I hate my job because it lets me stop to crush on my lady boss.
  21. You can tell me about your salary (I call my salary Blue).
  22. I just discover a new way of saving money, I always drink water from my office, use my office toilet for pooping to save tissue rolls and water at home.
  23. I got 50 deadlines in my job I succeeded only in 5 tasks but I am still working in the same office.
  24. The office is a hell place with easy sofa seats, air conditioners, lead lights, and beautiful coworkers.

Seven funny rules at work:

  • Live and love for your work but do not die at work, we may get a plenty.
  • Always agree and go with your boss ideas.
  • Always act worried if you have nothing to do more at the office.
  • Improve your quality and throw back the quantity of work, if you want appreciation.
  • Your boss daughter and wife are forbidden things in your life.
  • Boss is not always right, he may be a dumb, silly or stupid person but it’s his formal right to be right.
  • Act serious in-front of male boss but act silly in front of a lady boss.
  • Don’t trust on any coworker if your promotion is near.

Some most awkward/embarrassing moments at work:

  • You make a loud fart in an office meeting.
  • A cockroach suddenly appears under your desk.
  • Asking your boss or a leave to attend your grandma funeral and she calls your boss for some work.
  • Call your new boss mistakenly with the name of an old boss.
  • Make a stupid random chat with your boss at Chatroulette.
  • Get a sleep during a presentation.
  • Your boss accidentally reads your email from your lover.
  • Enter into office by wearing two different colors of shoes.
  • In hurry enter into the opposite gender toilet.
  • Make a joke about your boss and the boss was standing right behind your seat.
  • Boss gets to know, you call your pet dog with his name.

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